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"Ryan," I whispered, "there's a tick behind my ear. Please remove it. NOW!"
He sat down beside me and in one smooth motion, pulled out the tick and tossed it on the table. He's very good at it. Not surprisingly, since he has had quite a bit of practice lately. He has removed three ticks from Lola's head already and several from Sandman, the cat. They were all dog ticks, not to worry. It's the deer ticks that carry Lyme disease.
I know this because I did extensive research after the first one we found on Lola's head. I know more about ticks than I ever wanted to know. I was at work that first time. Ryan called me after he had removed it and I immediately took off into cyberspace and looked up Lyme disease symptoms, the occurrence of ticks in Wisconsin, types and sizes of ticks, and so on and so forth. Nothing to worry about, really.
Later that day I was talking to a co-worker in the break room about ticks and other fun topics, when I felt something itching on my leg. I softly scratched my leg and it stopped. Just to be sure, I checked under my skirt when I got back to my office. And sure enough, there was a tick hanging on for dear life in the seam. I flicked it away, making sure to spot where it landed.
Then I closed the blinds, locked my door, and stripped naked right there in my office. I checked every inch of my body and every garment inside and out. Nothing. Phew. It would have been really awkward to have to call on a co-worker to assist me with tick removal in my nearly bare-naked state. And no, there are no surveillance cameras in my office. I checked.
Of course after getting dressed again and unlocking my door, I was no longer able to find the tick on my boldly patterned brown and green carpet. Housekeeping was kind enough to come and vacuum my office on the spot. I did not see the tick again, but the rest of the day I was itching all over. And now you are probably too. Sorry.