Second Opinion

It's Tuesday and Lola does not have school today. As we are sitting in the kitchen, leisurely enjoying our breakfast, she excitedly points out the window.

"Look, look, look!"

I look. All I see is Sandman, the cat, at the edge of our yard. So does she. She thought it was a bunny.

She asks me if bunnies can walk, getting on all fours to demonstrate her meaning. I tell her no, bunnies can only hop.

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

"I'll ask Mrs. L. tomorrow, see what she says." Clearly she is not convinced I am right about this one.

Slowly but surely I am falling off my 'Mom Knows Everything' pedestal...

Eavesdropping

I just picked up the following conversation between Lola and her friend B. They are playing in her room. I am in the next room, trying to put together a shopping list. It's not so easy anymore to capture the funny stuff she says because she talks a mile a minute now. But she still cracks me up.

“Guess what? My grandma wants me to stay little forever.”

“Why?”

“Because I am just so cute.”

“So she wants you to be little?”

“Yes. But I just keep growing.”

“No you don’t.”

“Yes I do.”

“But I am still taller than you.”

“That’s because I am growing s-l-o-w-l-y …”

Toddler Talk V

Lola: "Can I take a bath? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease."
Me: "No honey, you already took a bath this morning."
Lola: "But I did three push ups!"

Lola: "I love you. You are the best mom in the whole world! You can make computers, you can make houses, you can maaaaaake............ snacks."
Me: "Um..., thanks!"

Lola, wearing new purple and pink swim goggles: "When I wear my swim goggles, are my cousins gonna think I look silly?"

Lola: "Mama, you know what? You are my favorite girl."

Lola: "Mama. When it's spring time day, the green ones... that talk..., what are they called again?"
Me: "Um..., frogs? Leprechauns?"
Lola: "Yes, leprechauns! They make the snow go away."

Lola: "Let's play I am the mom and you are the honey."

Lola: "My hand hurts."
Me: "What's wrong with it?"
Lola: "It hurts when I go like this." [Pushes her fingers backwards towards her wrist.]
Me: "Well, don't do that then."
Lola: "I am having a rough day."

Nativity set = Activity set
Co-workers = Work friends

Religious Education

Don't laugh, but I have started to work on my big Christmas project for the year. Last year I made an advent calender in the shape of a Christmas tree. I did not want to fill it with gifts or candy, I wanted to make it about the meaning of Christmas. The plan was to make a twenty four piece nativity set. However, after submitting my plan to a reality check, I went for little ornaments instead, and store bought at that.

So this year I am making a nativity set. Little wooden figurines and needle felted animals. I have needle felted once before, many years ago, under the careful guidance of my sister, needle felter extraordinaire. This time I am on my own. I went online and found a step-by-step tutorial on how to needle felt a sheep. I started two weeks ago. Let's just say it's a good thing the first of December is still more than six months away. My sheep does not resemble a sheep in the slightest.

I mentioned my project to a co-worker in the break room the other day. I don't know if she misunderstood me or has very little faith in my needle felting skills, but she walked in last week with a gift for me. She was at a garage sale where she found a nativity set and bought it for me. I was touched by her thoughtfulness.

When I went to pick up Lola that day, she asked me if I had a surprise for her. I told her I did, as a matter of fact, and showed her the nativity set. Ryan and I are not very church going and Lola's knowledge of religion is basically non-existent. I introduced all the characters of the nativity set to her and then tried to put it away to buckle her in her car seat.

"But mama," she cried, "I want to play with Jesus!"

Toddler Talk IV

Having a three year old is like having a talking dog. It is just funny. (Heard on the Bob & Tom Show one morning on the radio). I agree, it is.

"I used to be a grandma but now I'm a mom. I was short like a grandma, but then I grew bigger and now I'm a mom. And when I get even bigger, I am going to be a big sister!"

Lola: "I would like to fly an airplane."
Me: "Well, when you get bigger, you could learn how."
Lola: "But I would miss you!"
Me: "But you would come back to me, after you're done flying."
Lola, softly: "But I don't know how to find my home."

Lola: "Remember? When you were a little baby, and I was your mom? Remember?"
Me: "Ummm..."

Lola: "I'm going to draw a picture of papa."
Me: "That's a great idea, he'll love that."
Lola: "But I am not going to give him a pagina." (That is not a typo.)
Me: "Of course not. Boys don't have vaginas."
Lola: "Oh. No, I mean a penis. I don't like penises."

Toddler Talk III

I have a funny child, I could record her all day. Here are some highlights of the past months.

After Ryan told her it was our anniversary, that we had gotten married four years ago, she looked at me and exclaimed: "You got married?!?"

And later to her grandmother: "Mom got married!"

At daycare during a nature walk, outfitted with little magnifying glasses: "Connie, I think we have a mystery here..."

"I am so frustrated, I am going to turn into a monster!" And no, we have not been watching The Incredible Hulk. She was just demonstrating she learned a new word that day. Everything was frustrating to her.

There is a lot of talk about bugs going around at the moment. People are calling in sick left and right. Lola knows why: "If you eat a bug, you get sick."

"Row, row, row your boat. Gently down the stream. Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary. Like a spider's dream."

It is almost time for bed and Lola will do anything to avoid having to go to bed. We're discussing the messes in our rooms. I suggest we clean up this weekend. "How about you clean your room tomorrow and I clean my room today. But maybe you need some help with the little things. You know who could help you?" Big smile, pointing at herself. "But only if you listen to me. Do you promise to listen to me?"

Back Seat Entertainment

Source

"I'm a Big Bad Chicken.
I sleep down town,
and I go Boom Boom."

I have no clue as to the origins of Lola's Chicken Rap, brought to me from the back seat of the car this afternoon. It could be her vivid imagination, something seen on the television, or a combination of both. But I laughed all the way home.

Toddler Talk Continued

My child is a constant source of amusement these days. Here are a few more Lola Classics for you...

As I sit on the toilet, asking her to please close the door:
"So no-one can see your big butt?"

On her new found love for speech therapy:
"Do you want to play speech with me?"

In the water, with a big fat grin on her face:
"I don't want to drown (i.e. her head under water), I'm gonna die!"

When we talked on the phone the night before she returned from a visit to her cousins in Milwaukee:
"Mom, I told you, I always come back."

Pointing at my forehead:
"If a mosquito bites you there, you let me know. I will smack him for you." 

She made cute little cards for friends and family, so I asked her if she had any ideas for Christmas cards (wanting to stay ahead of the game):
"Yes. Let's send them to everybody..." 
Good thinking.

At randon moments:
"Man, oh man..."

When we are playing 'Hide & Seek':
"I am going to hide in the bathroom and you have to find me."

You Know, Samwich

There are some beautiful toadstools and other mushrooms sprouting up around the house. Lola and I like to take a little walk every evening and check on their progress. Yesterday we looked at one growing smack in the middle of the path.

"It looks like a samwich," Lola said to me.

"A sandwich?" I asked, emphasizing the sand part.

"No, a SAMwich!, she said. I wasn't sure what she meant. The mushroom in question did not resemble a sandwich at all. At least, not in my eyes. When I looked at her non-plussed, she put on her thinking face. You could tell she was pondering ways to explain to me what she meant.

"You know, a samwich, that goes under the bologna."

Aha! She did mean a sandwich. We were just disagreeing about the correct pronunciation.

"Oh, a samwich," I said. Lola nodded happily, pleased I finally got it.

I still don't see it though...

The World According To Lola

"Once upon a time there was Hanneke and Ryan. And Grandma Judy. And......, Grandpa Jim. They were all living together with my grandparents. And they ate dinner.

And they lived happily ever after."

Just Checking...

Lola fell off her tricycle yesterday evening and scraped her elbow, barely missing the puddle. It was just a little scratch, no major injury. She didn't even cry. There was no blood, and thus no bam bam (band aid) was needed. All it took was a kiss from her mother.

While we were in the bathroom, she decided she needed more sympathy and announced to me she was going to show Grandma Judy her elbow. As she walked out, she turned around, pointed to her elbow and asked: "Mom, is this my elbow?"

Knock, Knock

"Knock, knock."

"Who's there?"

"Banana."

"Banana, who?"

"Banana orange! Ha ha ha ha ha..."

It is Lola's first joke and she cannot get enough of telling it. She thinks it's hilarious. So do I. It is not so much the joke itself though, it is the delivery that does it for me. It is a good thing we are related and share a silly sense of humor, because I have a feeling this is the first of many, many Knock, knock jokes...

Felices Pascuas

The Easter Bunny, though she insists it was Santa, brought Lola a little basket filled with treats and treasures this lovely Easter morning. Stickers, beads, play money, little wooden eggs and cows, and chocolates! After generously sharing a couple of hundred dollars and some gold coins - but not the chocolate - with her parents and the cat, she counted what was left.

"... Quatro, cinco...," I heard her softly muttering. I was impressed and amused. Thank you, Dora. I told Lola it was high time she learned how to count in Dutch and showed her how.

"Een, twee, drie, vier..."

"Quatro, cinco," she chimed in.

My child is becoming bilingual alright, just not the language I had in mind. Though much more practical, I'm sure.

Happy Easter! Vrolijk Pasen! And Felices Pascuas, too!

Toddler Talk

She will be three in two weeks. Her language skills are improving every day. Sometimes there are so many words exploding in her head, it makes her stutter. We patiently wait for the words to come out. And what comes out can be pretty funny...

To Ryan as he is leaving for school:
"Bye papa! Don’t pee in your pants, don’t poop in your pants. I love you!"

Whilst reading the adventures of Dora the Explorer and being corrected on the use of he versus she:
“He is not she, he is Dora!”

“Lola, I have had enough. Can you please be a normal, good girl?”
“No. I want to be Lola.”

On ignoring the ‘No Running in the House’ rule:
“But mom, I am not running. I am pretending to run.”

Asking to look at the pictures and movies on my digital camera:
“I want to look at Lola, The Movie!”

The girl likes to dance:
“I need some music.” (And by music she means The Black Eyed Peas.)

When I try to dislodge myself from her grip after kissing her good night:
"You can't go anywhere. I am keeping you." Followed by her 'evil' laugh "Ha, ha, ha, ha..."

Don't Panic, Ask Google

"What happened to my money?" Lola asked me as she walked into the kitchen tonight.

"I don't know," I answered her, "where did you put it?"

"In my mouth."

...

"Lola, please come here. Did you put money in your mouth? And did you swallow it?"

"Yes."

"Did you really do that, Lola? And is it now in your tummy?"

"It was in my mouth. And now it's gone." She opened her mouth as wide as she could to prove it.

Great. Now what? Should I panic? Bad idea. Then what? She seemed absolutely fine. No crying, no aches or pains. No drooling, no discoloration, nothing. No need to panic. Yet.

I told her to come with me to the living room where I grabbed my wallet and looked for a penny, a nickel, a dime, and a quarter. "Can you tell me which one you put in your mouth?"

She pointed to the quarter. Argh! "That one. No, that one," she added, pointing at the dime. Better, but I wasn't sure what to believe. And I still didn't know what to do. My CPR training did not cover this.

Being a twentyfirst century mother, I turned to Google. I typed in what to do when your child swallows a coin and hit return. It came back with 52,400 hits. I was relieved to find out I was not alone on this one. And after reading a few results I felt much better. The consensus seemed to be to wait for the coin to pass. And perhaps speed up the process with Fiber One bars. Not having any at hand, I gave her a handful of prunes.

To make sure I am not a horrible mother by not rushing her to the Emergency Room, I called her pediatrician in Washington since the doctor's office in Crandon was already closed. The nurse told me what signs to look for that warrant a trip to the hospital: high fever, vomiting, severe belly aches to name a few. So far she appears unaffected.

So now all we have to do is wait and very closely examine anything that comes out the other end. It's a good thing potty training has not yet been completed. Ryan will be thrilled. She is sleeping with me tonight, just so I can keep an eye on her.

And as if all this wasn't trying enough, while I was talking to the nurse, Lola got into the band aid supply and stuck them on her legs. All but one. I should use that remaining band aid and tape her mouth shut. Tempting, very tempting...

Cute And Funny

"I'm cute," Lola informed me last night when we were getting ready for bed. She gave me her best fake smile; her mouth wide open, her teeth clenched, and a twinkle in her eye. Very much like this one. I couldn't help but laugh.

"I'm funny, too," she added.

How could I possibly argue with that?

Home Alone

Lola and I are home alone, watching Home Alone. It is never too early to instill a love of all things Christmas, I say. But perhaps two and a half is a tad young for a full appreciation of the adventures of Kevin McCallister. I don't think Lola completely understands the story.

Until Kevin asked Santa to please bring back his mommy for Christmas. When I asked Lola if she too wants her mommy for Christmas, she answered: "Yes", and then changed her mind.

"No. I want my papa for Christmas."

Say Cheese!

I Do It!

Little Miss Independent will not let me dress her anymore, nor put on her socks, strap on her shoes, wipe her butt, and so on and so forth. No, every single time I try to do any of these things, it's "I do it!" She's really cute when she is struggling with doing everything herself, and it is very funny to watch. Most of the time. But it takes FOREVER! My patience levels are reaching previously inconceivable new heights.

Lola really likes being a big girl that does things all by herself. Except when it's not convenient, of course. I am still her mule that carries her blanky, her babies, her bears, her toys, her. But I am also the person that can fix anything and everything. And the first person she calls for when she wakes up. That is the part I enjoy most. While it lasts...

No Laughing Matter

Lola has caught on to the fact that in order to shop, you need money. The other day I gave her some coins to put in her purse, where they miraculously transformed into a one and a five dollar bill. (So that's where our money goes...)

Last night she decided she wanted her money on her, and put it into her pants pockets. And then forgot all about it.

This morning when she got up, she went straight for her purse, only to find it empty. "Where is my money?", she demanded to know. Ryan started to laugh.

"That is NOT funny, papa!", she replied.

Welcome to the big world, little girl.